Miss Independent

Saying goodbye on the first day of preschool

Two weeks ago my daughter Tallulah started preschool.  As we dropped her off at preschool, I remembered when she was a little baby and I was looking up preschools in the area and I remember thinking that preschool was so far away and then all of a sudden it was here.

My husband and I have worked really hard to raise Tallulah to be a confident, independent, kind and loving girl.  I think every parent hopes that when the day comes to take them to their first day of school, that your child waves goodbye and pushes you out the door because they are ready to be on their own.

For me, that is just what happened.  Tallulah told me to go and to pick her up after lunch. She jumped right into making friends and said "See ya later".  I was so proud of her and the girl that she had become, even though I think it was harder for me to say goodbye then her.

This week, when I dropped off Tallulah at school, I noticed many other mothers seem to be staying with their children at preschool and I found myself feeling guilty and thinking about if I should be staying as well.  Tallulah did not need me or even want me there, she was too busy to need me around.  After school, I talked to Tallulah's teacher about my feelings and she assured me that if Tallulah does not need me then that is great and not to worry about it.

She was right.  It is so easy in these new parent settings like school to start comparing yourself as a parent to other parents and what they are doing.  Some parents stay at preschool because they may not be ready to let go or some parents stay at preschool because their children may need a little more transition time and some parents stay just for the fun of it.  No matter what decision we make as a parent in these big life transitions for our child, it is important to remember that each decision is the right one, as long as it feels right in your heart.

Here is to a wonderful school year!

My new passion! Please check out Intuitive Mothers Circle!

www.intuitivemotherscircle.com

Hello everyone!
I am excited to launch my new passion, Intuitive Mothers Circle.

Intuitive Mothers Circle exists to empower mothers to find, follow and trust their maternal intuitive spirit within. It is a nurturing, safe space to get real about our mommy fears and to connect with other moms while building confidence, courage and community.

I believe every mother is a "supermom". We are all given the tools to be amazing mothers but in mainstream society we are bombarded with so many different voices telling the how, what and why in regard to decisions we make for our children. This causes mothers to doubt the one thing that is always right, their intuition. I believe if we listen to our intuition as mothers, it then leads to confident parenting and confident and secure children.

I hope you will join me at my next Intuitive Mothers Circle. Please email me at intuitivemotherscircle@gmail.com.

To learn more, visit www.intuitivemotherscircle.com.

Second siblings and their sicknesses!

It is wonderful to have two children and to watch my oldest daughter play with my youngest son is priceless.  There is nothing more amazing then watching them as siblings.  However, one of the challenges with siblings, is trying to keep the youngest sibling from getting sick.  My daughter did not get her first cold, ear infection until she was 18 months old which I credit to breastfeeding, diet, washing hands and what we exposed her to but my 8 month old son, is not so lucky.

Now I do all the same things with my son that I did with my daughter but your second baby is exposed to many more germs because of their older sibling.  I cannot prevent my daughter from playing at the park or playing with friends or going to ballet class or telling her she cannot kiss and love her baby brother but even if I wash her hands and mine all the time, germs are going to come to our house!  So when Joaquin was 2 months old, Tallulah got the mildest cold but Joaquin got his first cold and ear infection.  The first time I treated it with antibiotics out of panic but then it went into his other ear and they wanted to put him on another round of antibiotics.  I was surprised because he seemed fine and had no fever or anything.  I would have never known if it was not for his check up at the doctor.  I decided to follow my instinct and treat it with Garlic Mullen drops first and if he started to get fussy or a fever then I would put him on the antibiotics.

Well a week later, we went to his check up and the ear infection was gone.  I was so proud of myself and that I did what I thought made sense based on the situation.  I have used those Garlic Mullen drops before and they are awesome.  Tallulah had a few ear infections but most were controlled by the drops and acupuncture.

Now, my son is 8 months old and I am in the same spot.  My daughter had a two day cold and now my poor son has a double ear infection.  I debated on what steps I wanted to take but his fever was rising and he was so miserable, that my husband and I decided that antibiotics was the right way to go for this treatment, along with the Garlic Mullen drops.

These decisions as a natural mama are very hard to do.  I hate putting him on antibiotics at such a young age but you always have to evaluate the situation and decide what feels best for your child.  For me, putting Joaquin on the antibiotics was the right choice.  Just 24 hours later, he has no fever, no thick mucus out of his nose and mouth and is sleeping happily in his bed.

Just remember, being a mom is always hard and these decisions are the hardest but just follow what you think it right and you will do good by your children.

Picture from Dr. Estella Sneider

Breastfeeding is so important but when do you let it go?

I have been very fortunate to have been given the gift of plenty of milk for both of my children and breastfeeding is one of my favorite things to share with my son and previously with my daughter.   However, I know many moms struggle with trying to keep up their milk supply or postpartum stresses or other things that make breastfeeding challenging. So my question is when do you let it go and realize it is ok to stop?

My answer to that is follow your intuition  As a mom, that is your best guide to all decisions you make for your child.  Breastfeeding should never be a stressful task or one that makes you an emotional mess.  You should not find yourself trying to pump any last drop out if it is making you crazy.  That will just make you and your milk supply worse.

Any breastfeeding you can do with your baby is amazing and that is what should be embraced.  Yes, formula is not the greatest thing on earth but it is not the worst either.  I was not breastfed and I am one strong mama.  I was one of those babies that was born when formula was the next big thing so they loved pushing it on my little preemie body!  But I was fine, just like many other babies are fine and your baby would be fine as well.

My advice is always do what you can. I for sure think you should breastfeed but only to the point of happiness, not misery.  Some woman have it easy with crazy milk supply like me and some struggle to produce even an oz but not matter what you do, remember that even if you breastfeed for a day, you did something great for your baby.

Moms should never beat themselves up about the decision to finally stop breastfeeding if it has become a struggle and it not successful anymore.

So just remember, as a Mom, your body will tell you when it is time to let go. Follow your intuition.  It knows best.

How to Pick a Pediatrician You Love

My Children, Tallulah and Joaquin

As any mama knows, picking a pediatrician is very hard to do especially when you are a natural focused mama.  It is even harder when you have decided not to vaccinate your children.  I really liked this recent article on suggestions and tips on how to pick your pediatrician.  It is ironic that I read this today because I had a very disappointing experience today with a pediatrician.  We were not able to see our family pediatrician today so I opted for a newer doctor with the practice.

While I understand and respect the Doctor's right to give me his two cents on why he thinks it is importance to vaccinate, I do not respect the Doctor's inability to know when enough is enough.  The Doctor continued to mention all the "dangers" that may come to my children by not vaccinating them.  The frustrating thing always about these situations, is that the Doctor never asks me why I do not vaccinate.  Instead of respecting my role as a parent, they seem to feel it is more important to try and instill fear on to me with hope that will make me vaccinate my children.  They would be more successful if they would decide to have a dialogue about vaccinations with me, instead of preaching at me.

Anyway, we love our pediatrician. Yes, he believes in vaccinations but he also respects our choices as parents and acknowledges that we are great parents that clearly provide a home full of love, confidence and security. While we may disagree at time with him, he is always supportive of our decision as parents.

Check this list out.  It may help you on your journey to pick a pediatrician.

Here is a link to the article as well: Inhabitots Guide to Picking a Pediatrician


1. Make a list, check it twice
Buy a notebook, and on the first page, write down the areas of new parenthood which are of the greatest concern and interest to you. Co-sleeping, Breastfeeding, Alternative Immunization Schedule, Diet (vegan/vegetarian), Homeopathic remedies, Babywearing, etc. You will want to find a pediatrician who is on the same page as you with regard to your parenting style. For instance, many pediatricians are proponents of attachment parenting and are helpful in encouraging you to stand by your choices while on the road less traveled. Since sleeping and eating will (hopefully) be your baby’s two biggest areas of concern, find a doc who supports your plans to co-sleep, feed a vegan diet, etc.

2. Be a detective & take notes
Most pediatricians are willing to meet with parents for an informal interview/Q&A session. Take your notebook to every meeting you schedule and write notes including your likes/dislikes of each pediatrician with whom you meet. Also, arrive early for your consultation and get the general vibe for how the office runs. Is the staff accommodating and helpful? Does the doctor seem to authentically like his/her job and working with children? Does the office have separate entrances for sick and well child visits? Be sure to ask what the doctor’s on-call policy is, and make sure a doctor (whether it be your pediatrician or someone in their practice) is available to be paged 24 hours a day in the event you need them.

3. Location, Location, Location
The adage doesn’t just apply to real estate — you want to be located as close in proximity to your pediatrician’s office as possible. If  traffic congestion is an issue in your city, this can add considerable time to your journey — and if your child is sick, you don’t want to drag them on a road trip in addition to having to take them to the doctor. Also, during your newborn’s first year of life, you will be making frequent visits for weight checks, immunizations, etc., so you’ll want the commute to be convenient.

4. Make sure the pediatrician is covered by your insurance
Call your insurance plan to ensure that the pediatrician you’re interested in is indeed a provider on your plan. Get the lowdown on how many visits are covered, and find out whether you have to pay a co-pay for nurse visits in which you’re only visiting for immunizations. *Note: We opted for an alternative vaccination schedule in which we had to make more frequent visits to divide the number of shots administered per visit. Turns out, we didn’t need to pay a co-pay for visits exclusively to administer vaccinations.

5. Heed word of mouth and the internet
Google the name of the pediatrician you’re interested in, and you’re sure to uncover more information about them via experiences had by other parents. Additionally, local community online parenting sites and parenting networks often give referrals or steer clear warnings of doctors based on their personal experiences. If you have friends with children, ask them who their pediatricians are, and if they are happy with the practice. The saying “it takes a village” exists for a reason… reach out to other parents on your search.

6. Take the pediatrician’s gender into account
If you plan on building a long-lasting relationship with your pediatrician, their gender may be a factor to consider. Most children see their pediatrician until they turn 18, so if you think that down the road your boy or girl may be more comfortable seeing a doctor of their same sex during adolescence, choose accordingly.

7. Go with your gut
Listen to your intuition. If you walk into a pediatrician’s office and feel at ease in the surroundings, with the doctor’s bedside manner and the rapport between you, that’s great — but if you feel uncomfortable, like you’re being rushed, or that the environment is unsavory in any way, move on and keep searching. You will be discussing a wide range of emotional issues with your baby’s doctor, from poop to boobs to crying (you and the baby!), and you’ll need to feel like you can call them at 2am if the situation warrants it. So choose wisely!

Smart Snacks in Schools

USDA seeking public comments on new "smart snacks in school" program

As my daughter, Tallulah gets closer to starting preschool, I find myself already thinking about snacks or foods she may be offered. I am amazed at some of the "healthy snacks" that are marketed towards kids and parents. Since I used to work for a natural foods company that was owned by a mainstream food company, I often saw some of the ridiculous snacks that were being created for kids as "healthy".
It seems there is always a fight to get better foods in schools. It is a huge problem that schools are offering things like soda and vending machines. 

Check this out and send them your thoughts. You can make a difference with your voice.


USDA seeking public comments on new "smart snacks in school" program

Hold Them Close

Today I heard a heart breaking story of a woman who lost her baby the week before it was due. While I feel I need to keep the details private, the story brought tears to my eyes and actually made my heart hurt.

Anyone would find this story tragic but those of you that have shared in the joy of giving birth to your child know how unimaginable this would be to experience. I find myself sick to my stomach when I think about this poor baby and this grieving mother. How does one even begin to heal from this?
Tears come to my eyes as I look at my four month old son sleeping next to me and think of my beautiful two and a half year old daughter. Every day is a gift with your children. I am lucky to be able to be with them everyday.  Being a mother, who stays at home, is priceless.  I am grateful that I get to participate in my children's daily lives.  All the park visits, the trips to the aquarium, bath days, times when they are happy, times when they are sad.  All of it is so valuable and I would not want to change it for anything.

I pray for healing for this mother and her family's unforgettable loss.

I give thanks for my amazing family and the love that I have.

Love your children every day.